So I haven’t touched this blog in ages but I seriously just wanted to share this with you all. On the CRJ 900 aircraft that I work on my jumpseat (the seat the flight attendants sit in with our extra straps) pulls out between the seats in the last row of the aircraft. That means sitting fairly close to passengers who are sitting in the aisle seats. It often gets down right cozy.
So today, on my way home, I was sitting next to an old man heading on his way to visit family in Texas, and he couldn’t resist sharing a few jokes with me. His wife said he has an encyclopedia of them in his head. You could tell he was a story teller and loved it. At one point he turned to his wife and said, “I made her laugh” very saticfied with himself. She responded, “Yes I heard, Dear.”
He took such delight in sharing with me I just had to share with you. Some of them are so fantastically terrible that you HAVE to laugh.

There was a camel with two perfect humps and he met a camel with one perfect hump. They went on caravan together and decided to get hitched. They had a baby an he had no hump. Do you know what they named him?

Humphrey

I met a man who had a terrible freak accident where he lost the entire left side of his body!
But don’t worry, he is alright now.

I met a man who got caught in a furniture upholstery machine.
Don’t worry, he has recovered.

So when animals die God mets them at the pearly gate and grants them one wish before they get into heaven.
One day a kitty dies and meets God at the pearly gates, and God tells the kitty he gets one wish, anything he wants.
“Well, you know I’ve always slept in other peoples bed, or on the floor or in boxes. I would really like my own bed.”
God grants his wish and gives him the most perfectly comfortable bed ever made.
The next day several mice met God at the pearly gates and he offers them a wish.
“People are always chasing us with brooms and shoes, and cats are always running after us, how about some roller skates to help us get away a little faster.”
God grants their wish and off they roll.
A few days go by and God is checking on the new animals. He stops in to see the kitty, who is stretched out taking a lovely cat nap. God asks the kitty if he likes his new bed.
The kitty replies, “Oh its great! I’ve never slept so well! Oh and thanks for all those meals on wheels you’ve been sending!”

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